How Can a Relationship Be Defined?
Dating in the twenty-first century can sometimes make you feel like you’re slogging through a jungle, far from civilization, or like you’re in the Wild West.
Due to the hyper-online dating environment of today, when ideas like dinner dates, being committed, and even monogamy itself have all but been replaced by swiping, sexting, and hookups, it can occasionally feel as though there are no rules.
People wind up suppressing their true emotions so as not to scare the other person away since they are aware that they can be replaced before they have even unfriended you on Facebook.
As a result, individuals become bogged down in lengthy encounters that aren’t exactly partnerships that last for weeks or months. As an alternative, you have situationships, relationships, and nonrelationships, all of which are draining.
The DTR conversation is a result of all of this ambiguity (i.e., “Does she like me like me?” “Is he seeing other people?” “Could we make this work as a pair, or am I kidding myself?”).
What Is a DTR Conversation?
When two individuals start dating, they have a DTR conversation—short for “defining the relationship”—about what the partnership can and should entail moving forward. Sincerity and vulnerability are necessary while defining the relationship since you must be able to communicate your desires to another person, which is sometimes difficult for many. Sometimes it can seem simpler to deal with the ambiguity of a relationship than it does to learn that the person you are with doesn’t share your values.
So, are you even required to do DTR? In theory, no. There is no need to talk to your lover if you are both convinced that you are on the same page and are not upset or concerned about the state of your relationship. It’s crucial to let your partner know if, on the other hand, you feel uncertain or anxious about where you stand or the need for a more formal commitment.
Just keep in mind that you are free to define the connection as you see fit; you are not required to do so for approval from others. It’s most likely time to have the DTR chat if you have concerns about your relationship or want to experiment with terms like “girlfriend,” “boyfriend,” or “partner.”
How to Define the Relationship When You’re Ready
1. First, Assess Where You Are In The Relationship
It’s crucial to consider how it affects your mood: Are you content or are you continually worried about where you stand with that person? People usually seek out these discussions because they feel trapped; if you feel stuck and stagnant, something needs to advance and move forward.
2. Be Honest and Vulnerable
Speaking your truth helps you avoid participating in the “game” of dating, even though this part is difficult. It is advised that you talk instead from a place of sincerity and vulnerability.
3. Assess What You Want
Ask yourself what it is you desire after giving the reason(s) for wanting to have the DTR talk some thought. In the end, what do you want most, and what do you hope to gain from this particular relationship? You’ll be prepared to ask the other person the right questions once you’ve addressed those issues for yourself.
4. Respect Their Response
Don’t become upset with your partner if they don’t want a monogamous relationship. Keep in mind that everyone is free to respond to this decision in their own unique way. Move on if someone doesn’t want a monogamous relationship with you. Locate someone who is keen on that.
5. Be Mindful of How You Start The Conversation
Even if you’ve scheduled when you want to have the conversation, it’s crucial to make it flow organically like any other one. Don’t make a formal statement using a cliche phrase like, “We need to talk.” The person can feel scared and flee in the opposite direction if you press too hard or set up a potential confrontation, experts advise.
It can be tricky and refined to approach that specific conversation. Finding the right opening is never easy, and neither is psychologically preparing yourself for a conversation that you don’t like the way it turns out. But it offers a feeling of clarity that can be essential for a relationship to survive. Although it may sound intimidating, you may define the relationship. You’re putting yourself in a position to succeed by speaking up, being open about how you feel, and advocating for yourself, regardless of how the other person reacts. You can handle it!