The issue isn’t so much how to end a relationship as it is how to do it without causing unnecessary sadness, discomfort, and complicated misunderstandings. No easy task.
The truth is that leaving someone you love can be difficult for a number of reasons, including the fact that you could miss their family, the love and support they provided you through a particular period of your life, or the sex you shared with them (which is totally valid). You can be really concerned about hurting someone you care about, or you might just not want to seem rude to your shared acquaintances. The point is that ending a relationship is never fun, even if you know you need to go on.
Letting your spouse know that you’ve chosen to leave is sometimes the greatest approach to achieving your personal objectives when you feel as though you are no longer connecting with them in the same manner or are looking to explore different aspects of life than your significant other is interested in. Breakups stink, let’s face it. You may go through it on your own sometimes, but other times you need expert counsel to help you develop the skills to slowly end the connection.
How to End a Relationship With Someone You Care About
1. Make Sure you Actually Want to Break Up
Make sure you really want to end the relationship before you break it off with your partner. After giving it some thought, you may decide to end the relationship.
Before you end your relationship, it’s crucial to let your partner know if you have any reservations or worries about it. When everything seems perfect, some people will announce a “surprise split,” telling you that they are leaving today. This kind of abrupt breakup can be “incredibly, devastating and very difficult to get over” in terms of the shock. The more beneficial decision (and kinder) one? Along the route, express any uncertainties and worries. This kind of honesty may even be able to save the relationship in some circumstances.
A well-planned breakup also means that it shouldn’t be a snap decision made in the heat of an argument or a trick played to exert power over your partner.
2. Plan The Break-Up
Planning how you will approach your partner before the breakup is crucial. Choose a strategy that is simple for you and stay with it. Even while you shouldn’t end a relationship by text, email, or social media, writing out your thoughts beforehand could be helpful. If you choose to put your ideas down in a letter, that is entirely OK, but you should remain present physically as they read so that you can address any questions they may have at that very moment.
Spend some time practicing your specific lines of speech. Keep a list of anything you feel is crucial, and try your best to stick to your script. You don’t want to be in a predicament where you fail to tell your partner about anything crucial.
You don’t plan on getting into relationships. Sometimes you fall out of love after falling in. The decision to end a relationship is not always simple, and the planning process can be difficult. A romantic connection cannot be ended in a simple manner. Consider doing it lightly. Your motives are good, and you want to convey your choice with decency and compassion. Knowing that you will unavoidably hurt your partner makes the difficult decision to end a relationship much harder to make. Rejection hurts, and if you still love the person, it’s awkward to tell them you don’t want to be with them.
3. Practice Empathy
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes while you make your plans. “The ability to show one’s empathy for the partner’s breakup experience can go a long way toward easing the sorrow that will inevitably result.
When you first start to fall in love, it’s much easier to empathize with your partner, but by the time you’re ready to call it quits, it could be alluring to disregard how separating will affect them. But a little compassion now could save problems later. Recalling your previous experiences with being the recipient of a breakup will help you manage your message because you would likely have a decent understanding of how it feels.
4. Be Prepared When Parting With Someone You Love
The first opportunity to end things with your significant other should not be seized. You should make every effort to ensure that you are emotionally, psychologically, and physically prepared for the drastic shift because breaking up will be difficult for both of you. Make sure you are confident in your ability to adjust to an independent lifestyle if you rely on this person in any way for day-to-day activities.
This is crucial when two people who are separating live together, commute together, or own valuable objects. Before splitting up, make sure you have a secure place to live, a dependable mode of transportation, access to necessities, and no financial reliance on your partner.
5. Remind Yourself that it’s Completely OK to Break Up
Even while ending a relationship with someone you care about deeply doesn’t feel right, doing so is also not wrong, so you shouldn’t feel bad about it.
Remind yourself that ending a relationship that isn’t working for you is acceptable. Because you don’t envision a future together, your decision is one that honors you. Even though they might not be as conscious of it as you are, if it doesn’t work for you, it won’t work for them either.
Do your mental health a favor and remind yourself that not every relationship will work out; this doesn’t necessarily imply that your spouse is a bad person or did anything wrong. Speaking out when a relationship isn’t working for you can allow you both to move on to greater things, which is something you owe to both yourself and the other person.
It’s simple to say what you believe your loved one wants to hear when you’re breaking up with them. Offer no false prospect of reconciliation unless you are genuinely interested in doing so, even if you might feel forced to lessen the damage. The same holds true for other kind-hearted lies, such as “We can still hang out” or “I still want to be friends.”
The adage “Say what you mean, and mean what you say” is reliable advice. Make it clear that you want the relationship to cease with no further communication. Clarify your expectations for your friendship if you do decide to keep it. Never offer someone a list of things they can do to boost their chances of helping you repair your relationship. There is nothing wrong with any of you, yet relationships don’t always work out.