Relationships do not just end when partners separate. You may feel abandoned and unwelcome as a result, which can undermine your sense of worth. When you still have feelings for your ex, it can be a terrible blow to your mental health. There are, however, ways to get over it and emerge stronger and better.
When you’re feeling your lowest and most vulnerable, suggesting that you should think about your mental health may come off as simple or even patronizing. Your entire existence may seem to have stopped at times. that every one of your aspirations has come to nothing.
Perhaps all you want is to be left alone so you can assess what went wrong. To be with the person you still love, you probably need to reflect on all of your choices and consider what you might have done differently.
But the truth is that’s never an unbiased judgment, especially if you’re still in love with your ex. A swift and painful transition occurs from “what went wrong” to “it’s all my fault.” An internal spiral just makes the injury worse.
Moving forward is the only way out of it. These five small measures can be started right away, even if they may feel insurmountable.
1. Accept That S/He is Gone.
You must go on to the following phase, acceptance if battling for your ex does not result in their return. Because there is nothing you can do to save your relationship, you must come to terms with the fact that it is over. It would do you no good to dispute this reality. You must train your mind to accept that for this reason, s/he won’t return.
2. Cut Off all Communication (Both Direct and Indirect)
This is the first thing you need to do for your physical and emotional well-being. It’s not necessary to know where they are or who they are with. Stop communicating with your ex.
Yes, being absent from their life can be devastating. However, your own journey is now more important than theirs, and they have no place in it. Now is the moment to put yourself first, not your ex’s social plans.
Additionally, you should be aware that it is no longer possible to just be friends with them. No matter what you’ve read or seen, that rarely results in positive outcomes in real life. Reviving and clinging to a broken relationship can be a painful and ultimately fruitless endeavor.
Simply expressed, the answer is no, you cannot be friends with your ex. You two might be friendly or even acquaintances in the future when you are both in healthier and happier environments. You shouldn’t attempt to enter their life at this time, though.
3. Let Go of Memories and the Things that Remind You of Him/Her.
I am aware that forgetting someone is difficult, but if you are sincere about doing so, you must have the fortitude to let go of everything that binds you together, even your memories. It would just create a lot of pain to continue thinking back on your happy days spent together. Return the items that they provided you, burn them, or throw them away if keeping them won’t significantly impact you.
4. Forgive The Past
Understandably, breakups typically cause people to feel remorse and resentment. You often consider what else you might have done. Or maybe you’re upset with how you or your ex is acting. or perhaps the situations that force you to act in the manner that you did.
You got dragged further and deeper into that whirlwind of thought as you consider it more. Things may get quite troublesome if there was betrayal involved. You would oscillate between regret and rage whenever you relived an encounter or conversation.
When you acknowledge that you have no control over any of it, the emotions grow more strong. As a result, there is a vicious cycle that starts with regret and ends with wrath and powerlessness. If you still love your ex, this can be upsetting. You will be able to look past their defects in this circumstance and recognize flaws in your own nature.
That is a downward spiral that will keep you stuck.
Not ignoring the past is not the answer to this. Such an intensely emotional experience is impossible to get over. You must forgive your past in order to go on. Either in a notebook or in self-talk, you must describe what happened clearly.
Then you must be willing to forgive your ex as well as, more significantly, yourself. This is a sign of ultimate maturity and strength rather than weakness. You’re not endorsing the person’s behavior if you forgive them for their conduct. Simply put, you’re saying that you no longer harbor any animosity toward them.
5. Find Someone You Can Talk to About Your Feelings.
It is comforting to have someone listen to your groans and tears, even if you are only talking about the same thing. You don’t need as much advice right now. You require a sympathetic ear so that you can communicate your emotions without fear of criticism. Identify a trusted family member or friend who is familiar with your situation.
Your mental health depends on you getting over an ex that you still love. This procedure will have both good and bad days. But you need to keep telling yourself that things are getting better all the time. And that you’re letting go of the past, releasing your emotional burden, and emerging from it stronger and better.