The act of being difficult to get isn’t necessarily worthless. It can provide a little more excitement to relationships when done correctly. Relationships, both fresh and established, can be flavored by the art of the chase. Perhaps thinking about playing hard to get as creating anticipation is a more useful metaphor.
Playing hard to get can occasionally backfire, which is a concern. Whoever was playing unfairly or too aggressively was playing poorly. It’s a gray, narrow line.
It’s crucial to first consider whether you’re approaching it from the appropriate place and whether your partner or crush will be into it before getting involved. Everyone has unique boundaries, standards, and interpretations of what love is. Think of the other person when you play hard to get. In the end, aren’t you curious about them? It is crucial to retain a deep sense of respect for one another. You don’t want to be selfish and try to take advantage of someone else at their expense.
Playing the game attentively and thoughtfully will help you learn how to play hard to get in an exciting, positive way. Keep in mind that while this is mostly for you, it is also for your crush.
Now Let’s Move on to The Tips!
1. Give the Attention They Need, But Not the Attention They Want.
People have upper and lower bounds for how much they can endure, as well as minimums for how little they will put up with. In order to determine how much attention is too much for your partner or crush, you’ll need to go inside their heads (or else they’ll simply tell you).
So when does it shift? when they stop feeling like they have to compete for your attention. No partner should be continually trying to get your attention, but they do need to put out some effort. When you choose to offer them your attention—which, to reiterate, doesn’t have to be constant—holding back a little can serve as a lovely reminder of what they’re losing out on and how wonderful it feels to do so.
Avoid neglecting to pay enough attention to your crush, though. They will give up if they don’t think you care. Find a pleasant middle ground; lighthearted exchanges might be advantageous.
2. Keep it Playful
Playing hard to get is all about having fun with your crush while playing a little game together.
Additionally, it should be fun to play!
Send some nice messages or emoticons, make it a little flirtatious, and have fun with it.
You can send prankish SMS messages. You may send a picture of cute clothing you plan to wear on your next date and tell them to expect to see you in it.
Make sure it’s fun for both of you whichever you decide to do it.
You can tease them or somewhat rile them up, but be careful not to offend them in the process!
3. Make Your Crush Work For it, But Don’t Forget to Put in Some Effort Yourself
The person you’re dating should constantly be trying. This does not imply that your crush must constantly be alert, paying close attention to you, and exerting a great deal of effort because that is draining. But you do want them to believe that when they are around you, they should be giving you their best. You want the person you’re crushing on to want to try to keep you around.
A two-player game is playing hard to get. Naturally, nothing excessive, just a little tension to keep things interesting. Just as your companion will want to make you work for them, you want the other person to work for you. Any productive working relationship depends on reciprocity. Making someone want you, in general, is the same as making them want to work to obtain you.
Both partners must put in an equal amount of effort for a relationship to be healthy. A one-sided relationship is like a group project where one person has to work harder than the others to earn a decent mark; yet, in relationships, you can’t get a good score without both parties putting in the effort.
4. Make Yourself the Priority.
This is something that can both help them and you while you are dating.
Send a text to your crush explaining what’s going on and that you won’t be using your phone for a while.
This will increase your attractiveness by demonstrating to them that you have a social life outside of only texting them.
In addition to letting them know what to anticipate moving ahead, it acts as a reminder to you that you do not need to be available constantly (something most of us are guilty of doing during the early stages of a relationship!).
It’s a wonderful strategy to keep them anticipating your later text messages and it lets them know that you’re not the type of person to sit by your phone all day.
5. Build Sexual Chemistry and Anticipation
Sex can be lovely, but like many wonderful things, it gets even better with time if you allow yourself to get more eager for it. While spontaneous events can be thrilling in their own right, developing sexual tension over time can make a relationship more enjoyable whether or not you are actually having sex with the other person.
If you haven’t had sex yet, wait a while so you can get to know one other better. If that’s what you both want, it will make the sex more meaningful (hookups are a different story).
If you’ve been having sex, try to avoid making it a regular occurrence. It shouldn’t be commonplace to have sexual relations. It should be impromptu and enjoyable. Whatever they may be, routines ultimately grow dull with time. Irene Fehr, a coach for sex and intimacy, recently opined to Elite Daily that making lighthearted physical gestures might foster arousal.
Let the fire begin to blaze by kissing or touching your partner sensually to tease them. Perform this on the morning of the date or a few days prior.
Let’s be honest: for many people, being overly accessible is a significant turnoff. Who would want to spend time with someone whose life began only when you called or visited them?
Additionally, you run the danger of scaring someone away if you reveal your feelings to them if they don’t share your sentiments.
Because of our dating rituals, it becomes important to play these games, and if you don’t, you risk being judged as “easy” or “undesirable”. No one wants to be with someone who has no friends or family outside of the relationship, would they? Thus, they start to lose value when they are too readily available.
Thus, playing hard to get works exceptionally well if you do it right.