How To Deal With The Fear Of Falling In Love With Someone
Falling in love is usually exciting and thrilling, but it’s also scary for some. After all, it’s not easy to trust someone with your heart. What if it gets broken? If you’re afraid of love, it may even stem from deeper fears of vulnerability, hurt, abandonment, or failure. In extreme cases, this fear can manifest as philophobia, where the thought of falling in love and maintaining the relationship is associated with immense anxiety and significant psychological or physical discomfort.
To overcome or stop acting on our fear of falling in love is to recognize that we have them. Fear of intimacy is not a problem without a solution, but in order to find a solution we must recognize that there is a problem. This problem may be difficult to understand at first glance since most of us claim to want love in our lives. Many of us feel cheated or victimized by circumstances and do not realize that our biggest obstacle is that we are standing in our own way. Whether we are worried about past hurts being reopened or reliving our childhood, it will help us to gain a deeper understanding of our less conscious motivations that are damaging our closest relationships.
Ways to overcome your fear of Love
Look for a sign of rejection in your romantic past
If you take the time to look closely at each past romantic relationship, you can find where you may have experienced rejection, pain, or perhaps a traumatic moment for your self-esteem. Any of these experiences can cause you to be afraid of getting involved with another person. If you did not have a proper healing period or you didn’t have a support that would help you through that painful experience, could be the cause of your philophobia. Taking time to heal would be the first step to overcoming this problem.
Be honest with yourself about why you’re afraid
First, try to figure out why you’re afraid. Consider why you’re afraid of falling in love. Be truthful in your responses: the goal is to improve your life, and avoiding difficult topics will only harm you. Fortunately, you are the only one here to be vulnerable, so don’t be afraid to think deeply. You’re probably not afraid of love in general, but rather of loss or emotional pain.
Stop listening to your inner critic
Don’t be a fool. Try to recognize the little voice in your head that tells you things like “He doesn’t really love you.” “She’s just manipulating you.” “Break up with him before he really hurts you.” Consider how this critical inner voice pushes you to avoid intimacy and vulnerability. Consider how they make fun of you and others and undermine your self-esteem. “You’re too ugly/fat/poor/unattractive to be in a relationship.” Nobody is going to be interested in you.” This cruel and deceptive thought process will try to keep you from finding love throughout your life. You can stop thinking it’s reality or your own point of view once you recognize it. This will allow you to disassociate yourself from his harmful instructions and act in opposition to them.
Make sure the person you’re attracted to is the right one for you
Indeed, we have no control over who we fall in love with. People in your life, on the other hand, are objective and can tell you when someone is correct or incorrect and why. When it comes to matters of the heart, many people often do not listen to what friends and family have to say. However, if you spend time with someone who raises red flags in the eyes of others, you should heed the warnings so you don’t have to worry even more in the future.